I am going to share something with you guys that you may or may not know about me… I do not believe in going to the doctor. Yes this may sound a little crazy, but I am going to tell you why.
One year I had a terrible cold that wouldn’t go away. So I went to the doctor to get checked out. The nurse takes my temperature and says it’s a little high. She then leads me to this extra small room that is super cold. Sidebar: why are examination rooms always cold? Anyway, the doctor comes in and asks me what my symptoms are. I tell him chills, coughing, sore throat, etc. Looking down at me through his small glasses he says “well Cydni it looks like you have a case of the common cold, take off your clothes and put on this gown and I will be back in a few minutes.”
TIMEOUT! Why do I have to take my clothes off? And sir this gown is practically see-through! Wait a minute I feel a chill on my backside…HEY THE BOTTOM IS CUT OUT! Okay, I don’t know what type of stuff you guys are into but I didn’t sign up for this. Besides you already told me that I have the common cold, there is no need to examine my body any further. For all I know there could be a hidden camera in here recording me taking my clothes off. And really where are the doctors going when you take your clothes off? And how do they always know when to come back? Stuff to think about right?
The doctor comes back in, has me do that breathing thing, and says “I hear a little congestion in your chest.” No duh Sherlock, tell me something I don’t know. I came to you to shed some light on my condition and that’s the best you can do?! After all of that he says “I recommend plenty of rest, Tylenol to get your fever down, and drink plenty of fluids.” So I ask, “how long do you think I will be this way?” He says “I am not sure, with the common cold you just have to let it run its course.” RUN ITS COURSE?! Seriously dude? So after dragging myself out of the house, (looking a hot mess by the way) I can’t even get a prescription?
I walk outside to the receptionist desk, and the lady says that will be $30.00! Receptionist lady say what? Let me get this straight, I still feel like crap, the doctor told me stuff I already know, some freaky doctors got a peep show, and now I have to pay you $30.00?! You guys should be paying me!
In conclusion, I now give myself physicals and last time I checked I am a healthy young woman.
